- Biography
- Domains
- Humor & Such
- $50 Lesson
- 25 Signs
- 48 Laws of Power
- 50 Lessons of Life
- A Father & Daughter Discussion
- A Jack Daniels Fishing Story
- Alaska Xmas Party
- A Nice Catholic Joke
- A Paraprosdokian
- A Pin Drop
- Be careful what you wish for...
- Because I am a Man
- Ben Stein's Final Column
- Bill of No Rights
- Biology Class Exam
- Blonde Stewardess & Crabs
- Burnt Biscuits
- Calmness in Our Lives
- Cancel your credit cards before you die
- Carl's Garden
- Census Form
- Cost cutting
- Dear 16-year-old me
- Depression
- Divorce vs. Murder
- Drunkenness
- Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar
- Ear Infection
- Economic Stimulus Lesson
- Farkle: New Rules
- Father of the Year
- Final Cut Pro: A Day In The Life
- Five Rules to Remember
- Geography
- God and lawn care
- Going to Italy
- Greatest Movie Line
- Health Alert
- Home Remedies
- Humor for Lexophiles
- Important Food for Thought
- Interesting History
- Irish Compassion
- Is there a Santa Claus?
- Larry's Wisdom
- Law & Disorder
- Letter from Grandma
- Letter from Montana
- Letterman's Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women
- Life Rules
- Lipstick in School
- Little Girl and Her Wagon
- Lost In Translation
- Mixed Emotions
- Murphy's Lesser Known Laws
- Neologisms
- Now You Know
- OXYMORONS
- People are Awesome
- Pinocchio, Snow White & Superman
- Political Party Test
- Punch Lines
- Purchasing vs. Leasing
- Random Thoughts
- Real World Rules
- Service
- Sex in the Dark
- Short Notes
- Smart Ass
- Social Security
- The Collar
- The Cuckoo Clock
- The Gunfighter
- The Man Rules
- The Mum Song
- The Pastor's New Dentures
- The Speech Therapist
- The Stranger
- The Value of a Drink
- Think Before You Speak
- Think Fast!
- Thirteen things yours burglar won't tell you
- This is our future!
- Thomas Jefferson
- Thoughts
- Tiny rules can add up to big pain!
- Too Tight
- Vietnam immigrant thanking U.S. veterans
- Wal-Mart Job Interview
- Welfare Office
- Wet Pants
- Where to Retire?
- Who was... ?
- Why I'm divorced . . .
- Work Humor
- Work Phrases
- Your Social Security Card
- Quotes
- Recipes
- Audio
- Forms
- Polls
- Contact
- Official Rules
$50 Lesson
I recently asked my neighbors' little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President someday.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?' She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' Her parents beamed with pride.
'Wow... what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that! You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50? '
I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.






